Like most families we need two incomes to accomplish the financial goals we have for ourselves and our two boys. So the chronicling of of my experience began, more accurately as the primary-care-giver, since from the outset of our roles as parents, the primary role of day-care, sick-day, doctor's visits, play-date-organizer go-to person has fallen om my shoulders.
At first I began the project because, well because I had no other better ideas, and I've always known my wife was better than I at knowing what your average entertainment consumer is looking for. After all, I'm one of those people who will actively seek out and view an art-house film, but that doesn't mean I didn't like films like Armegedon, or watching CSI. Every genre has its merits.
So one thing at the outset of this project grabbed my attention and turned this from just something to do to something I cared about: I began to see the role as a stay-at-home PARENT, not as a mom or a dad.
This became my perspective for quite some time, as the boys progressed through pre-school and despite the generic gender oddities regarding how most boys are drawn to trucks, and most girls are drawn to dolls, I saw how the role of the primary care giver has the same tasks regardless of gender.
What I found even more compelling was that when I would get together with women for coffee (seeing that I was the only man in this situation) we would all complain about the same things…mostly.
Then I began to notice the differences. Yes. I am a stay-at-home DAD. My tolerance for filth and clutter is higher than the other moms, my wife's. My tolerance for allowing the boys to take more physical chances is lower than the other moms, or my wife. The latitude I give the boys for figuring things out on their own is greater than that of my wife or the other moms. And as you might imagine, that's just the start of the comparisons, and the events (serious and silly) that brough me to these conclusions.
Look forward to this story and its nuances unfolding in the pages of bentspoon over the coming months.
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