The Danger of Going Off Half Baked

So a periodic contributor to bent spoon replied to the last post and reminded me of something: nothing is singular in cause. One thing that she noted, “It has to be a coming together of the parent and the child and every other thing that each brings to the table of existence.” Now I know this contributor very well; she’s my sister. And while she opinion comes from the perspective of a Budhist — and understanding that we all come from our own perspective, with our own biases, and beliefs, for example I’m more of a Western Empricist — what she’s discussing crosses all boundaries of perspective, it’s just that different people use different language to describe it…

We are to blame

It happened this weekend: the final cross-over to a very distinct and possibly unpopular opinion. Now the opinion is not going to be unpopular because it is so revolutionary, but because it is rarely spoken outside of coffee or cocktails with friends. We, parents, are to blame for the ills of our kids. Of course there’s nature AND nurture, and there are certain hard-wired qualities of children that come from genetics and genetic anomolies, but for the kids in the meat of the bell curve who by third grade are already ill behaved little miscreants — and yes, they do exist — I can no longer get upset with those kids…

Finding Company

Talking to my next door neighbor today brough about an unexpected moment of levity. He runs the after-school program at our elementary school and has observed for the past 15 years how kids operate. Maybe more telling is that he’s been able to observe how parents operate. After all, from where do children learn most of their behaviors? so he brings up an article he came across in a recent Time Magazine regarding the new Washington DC Superintendant of schools, and it sounds like she’s not making many friends.

Beautiful Reminder

For all of the daily ruminations over making sure that I’m being a good father to my boys, that they’re trying to be the best little human beings they can be, and that the lessons I’m trying to impart upon them are appropriate and useful, nights like this are the things that remind me how blessed I am.

Taking back what I said?

So I had a rant a while back that basically alluded to the pathos plaguing the California school system, and how the mantra of “it’s all good” is actually potentially devastating to our educational system out here.

I do hold firm that “it’s all good” is a falacy and a terrible mantra for parenting, but a good way to make it in this region where everything from fiscal to physical peril threaten us at every turn. From Sacramento’s short coming to the threat from the Hayward fault there is a lot to just worry about, and easy to want to just forget about it.