It’s daunting, and it’s exciting. Many people don’t do it because it’s just plain scary. Some people never shrink from the prospect because of the adventure of stepping into a new community. Our nine year-old put it beautifully the other day. “I know change is good for me, dad. I just don’t like it.”

I don’t shrink from the prospect of moving, or embarking upon a move to a new community, but every time the move is finished, and as soon as the dust starts to settle from the physical move, I am reminded why many people would never consider moving from their home town.

Moving is lonely.

A number of months ago I wrote a piece about how we as adults get so wrapped up in the lives of our children, our careers, and our families that we have little time or (maybe more importantly) energy to pursue friendships with new people. So many of the friends that I met while in Walnut Creek were first and foremost friends with whom they had at least gone to high school.

But this is not unique to Walnut Creek. Most of the men with whom I maintain the closest relationships are the guys with whom I went to high school and college. The problem with that scenario for me, is that our lives took us to many different corners of the country: New York, Boston, San Francisco, and Chicago to name a few.

So here I sit in Shorewood, Minnesota. It’s a beautiful town.  Yes, I’m confident the winters are going to be challenging, but winters really don’t bother me. I like the challenge. What I’m struggling with is girding myself for the process of making new friends.

Everyone so far has been wonderfully friendly, but I cannot yet say that I’ve found real friends yet.

Friendship, like any relationship, takes time, and I know that this move is going to be no different, that it’s simply going to take time before I’ve found new people whom I can consider true friends. I’m not worried about the process, or about the time that it’s going to take, but for now I have to admit that it can be quite lonely.

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