Why do we parent the way we do?

Why do we parent the way we do?

Because we want to be parented the same way we were? Because we want to be parented totally opposite from how we were parented?Sunset

Let’s take the question one step further. If your parenting works out perfectly, what do you expect to be the result of your parenting?

Many, if not most parents will say something like “I want my child to be happy, and well adjusted.”

But is that being truly honest?

Probably not, though I’m not saying parents are lying. Let’s consider it an error of omission: an omission that is totally inadvertent. After all, how can you know you are not addressing something if you never knew you needed to address it in the first place?

Where am I going with this?

I think parents don’t just want their kids to be happy. Maybe in those quiet truly introspective moments most parents realize that happiness is a grand goal. I think parents want their kids to be successful.

Now there’s a loaded term.

After all, once the word success comes into the equation everything changes. What does success mean? What does success look like? How do you make sure your child is successful?

Here is where most of our parenting objectives come off the rails. Grand visions of success derailed by children who have different ideas about what they want to do, who they want to be, and how they want to get there.

And then the battles begin.

So I ask, what do you really want for your child? What are you hoping are the results of your parenting? Is the word success involved in this? And what does that mean?