My wife started a recent conversation with a phrase that I know far too well. It's a phrase that I use very often in my own internal monologues, but something that – until now – I rarely admitted to other people. She was walking across our bedroom on a Saturday afternoon, while we were cleaning up laundry, she looked at me and said, “I love our boys, but...”

Why does it feel like the caveat, “I love our boys,” or “I love my kids,” has to come before any form of discussion about the things we lose when we become parents? Isn't it OK to love one thing, but miss something else? It's a hard thing for many parents to talk about: what they miss about their life before kids.