Forty four.Today. It has such a ring to it; it's so uniform and symmetrical.

Birthdays are different animals when you're an adult. Throw in being a father and the experience of a birthday becomes very...different.

What was wonderful about my birthday this year was the gift that my wife and boys had chosen for me. While the gift itself was awesome – a motorcycle riding class at a nearby race track – more thrilling was the excitement they all had for wanting me to open the gift. They were all so excited that they gave me the gift a day early.

What is even more endearing is that for children, birthdays mean presents. So once my birthday present had been dispersed, my birthday was, essentially, over. Well, at least for my seven year-old.

The next morning, after a solitary reminder from my wife to my ten year-old, he immediately serenaded me with a sweet rendition of Happy Birthday. What was even more sweet was that my ten year-old continued to serenade me throughout the day, and even sent me an email from the computer in his bedroom wishing me a happy birthday.

I have to admit that until this year, birthdays during the first years with children were somewhat hollow. A brief burst of happy birthday over cake, and total disappointment from them when they saw that the presents I received were of no interest to them, made for very non-eventful days, particularly since the rest of my days on those other birthdays were no different than any other days: preparing meals, cleaning the house, doing laundry, generally taking care of the kids.

But now...

I see that I'm entering into a new phase of fatherhood, where there's so much more than the gleaning the simple pleasures of parenting. No longer do I simply receive joy and satisfaction from observing my children and seeing their growth. Now they're actually looking at me, and without prompting, or at least without very much prompting, looking to do things for me.

And for those mothers out there, you know that men can be quite...self-centered. So to go ten years without everything being all about me has been a great exercise in selflessness.

That exercise, however, has also come with great rewards: like being able to revel in those observational moments when I see how my children have grown, and deriving pleasure from watching their growth, and not from focusing on my own successes.

As for this celebration of my having been on this earth for 44 years, it was a great one. Would I love to have one of those birthdays like the ones I had in grade school, when the entire day was about me? I really don't think so. I've come to realize I don't do that well. Maybe it's a product of having had my birthday at this time of year, never having one of those birthdays that falls during the times that school is in session and everyone in class knows about your birthday and they take an hour off from the school day for everyone to have cupcakes, or some such.

Then again, maybe it's just a product of finally growing up, of realizing that regardless of how much I might want everything to be about me sometimes, people quickly learn that when the focus of one's life turns to the care of others the rewards can be so much greater.

RJ Lavallee is the author of IMHO (In My Humble Opinion): a guide to the benefits and dangers of today’s communication tools on sale at Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, and lulu.com.

Comments

Add New Search

Write comment
Name:
Email:	do not notifynotify
Website:
Title:
UBBCode:	-color-aquablackbluefuchsiagraygreenlimemaroonnavyolivepurpleredsilvertealwhiteyellow -size-tinysmallmediumlargehuge
	Please input the anti-spam code that you can read in the image.

Powered by !JoomlaComment 3.26

3.26 Copyright (C) 2008 Compojoom.com / Copyright (C) 2007 Alain Georgette / Copyright (C) 2006 Frantisek Hliva. All rights reserved."