Yup. I was goaded into writing about this controversial book by a friend of mine. Thing is, I don’t have much to write about this book for two reasons: I’ve not read the book outside of the excerpts in OpEd pieces, and I think it’s much ado about nothing.
What? This is nothing?
In our day to day lives it’s very easy to have our vision clouded. We become consumed by everything from our children’s grades to overdue taxes. At the end of the proverbial day, however, there’s only one thing that really matters: our relationships with each other.
When you have kids, the foundation of their relationships starts at home. Our children model their behaviors after what they see. If we’re not being respectful to our spouse of significant others, how will our children act? If we lace everything we say with sarcasm, what will our children do? If we only worry about our day-to-day immediate needs, what will our children see? Further complicating our jobs as parents we all know that young children and ‘tweens only see and react to what’s immediately in front of them anyway. I’m sure we could argue that about many teenagers and certain 40 year-olds.
While every child is wired differently, and if you’re the parent of more than one child you are constantly amazed how the same gene pool can produce such radically different creatures, the responsibility for guiding these little people lies on our shoulders. After all, that’s why we carry the label of parent. Maybe I should re-label that as
I’m always disappointed when life gets in the way of something like writing on bent spoon, though life getting in the way is not such a bad thing some times either. If life is getting in the way of the rambling musings of one man, attempting to make sense of what it is to be a father of two young boys in this crazy world, then it means that I’m at least fully steeped in living each day.
The past month (it’s almost been that long since I’ve posted though I did squeak something online last week) has brought highs and lows, and a lot of things in between, which is what life does, right?
My wife started a recent conversation with a phrase that I know far too well. It’s a phrase that I use very often in my own internal monologues, but something that
2009 has seen a lot of illness march through our house. From head colds to H1N1 we have yet to have an entire month where at least one person in the family was not sick. December is now no different.
We were talking on the phone and I said,
My mother told me of a phrase that her mother had had regarding childhood:
I have these manly moments where I plant my stake in the ground, pee on trees, and generally find ways to mark my mental, physical, and emotional territory. You’ve seen them. You’ve read them. Those emphatic, powerful moments of declaration, stating what I’ve found to be true and right and just. Stating that more people, more parents, should be more engaged with the their kids. Really, I’m stating that more parents should be like me.
Funny the little moments that make realizations like these coalesce. Tonight it was a PTA meeting.
This moment has been on the horizon for a while. Oddly, I was never nervous about running my first PTA meeting as the official PTA president for our elementary school for 2009-2010.
An interesting conversation came about at our dinner table tonight. Homosexuality.
The conversation didn’t delve into the specifics of it, but more danced around its semantics. And it’s not like my wife and I just decided that this was a great topic of conversation at the dinner table with our seven and nine year-old sons. One set of our neighbors is a gay couple, and something happened today that lead to my wife commenting during dinner,